OP, the red/green connector in your picture above triggers the high-beam shutter soleniod in the projector assembly.
You just need to splice in the grey/brown connector from your after-market projector bowls into the red/green connector using T taps or something. I did the FR-R 3.0 retrofit last year and I ran into the same problem since the FX-R 3.0 high beam shutter solenoid had a different connector as well.
Step 10 in the following retrofit tells you to do the same thing. Post back if you still have doubts.
http://www.zhpmafia.com/forums/showt...t-doityourself
EDIT: Optionally, you can also code it such that when you turn on high beams, your halogens also turn on along with the high-beam HIDs. Thats what I have coded on my car.