Orginally sent as a reply to a member here via PM who wished me luck in my ventures. Too weird to let it go unread as I try to document my relapse.
---
Well, I will try to document it as much as possible. Trust me, it will be epic, as I am sure I will be slipping into madness this season. As some here know, I am in recovery. A recovering race car (rally) driver who hung up his driver's suit a while ago to drive cars professionally. In addition to a few other disciplines, I taught EVOC and High Risk Driving. Got paid to beat up on other peoples' (and agencies') cars instead of my own.
Since leaving that life a few years ago and go "white collar" I have the itch again. While I have not done drugs, I know the signs and rationale... "I'll only do it on the weekends, it doesn't affect my job, etc."
Slowly introducing my 7 year old to the finer aspects of motorsports, I have gotten the itch again. Nothing like a spring morning with the smell of burnt race fuel, cooked brakes and shredded tires to go with my coffee. Find my little girl a set of earplugs, and I want to walk the paddock.
i was pretty stable, kept it together with one car for a while when sold my basket case Audi, as I cranked out the miles on my 2003 330ci. Daring not to part with my 03 but needing a replacement DD, my g/f joined me when I took delivery of my ZHP. And, in true addict style, embarrassed to admit to her that I bought a broken M3 three months later...
So, down the rabbit hole I go, slowly circling the drain and possessing all the trappings of a full blown addiction. Hiding the packing lists of parts, trying to cut back on my weekly binge buying and trying not to let it affect my job. But to no avail. Secretly making plans to race next year, thinking of selling a kidney to pay for a roll cage... and then she does it. She thinks it is a nice and thoughtful Christmas present, our first Christmas together as a couple, so sweet she is to cover the costs associated with a driving school and lapping session with my car(s). As she said, "so I can go play with my toys."
Oh, she has no idea how wrong she is. This isn't some fanciful hobby, like building model planes or photography. This is an addiction that left unchecked, devolves into absolute madness.
Wish me luck.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Sockethead
