Materials to Maintain Your ZHP IIIII Hand Protection IIIII Tools to Maintain Your ZHP
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1

    AGM Batteries are a fucking SCAM

    Once you spend a little time in the automotive industry, you start to smell the low-level scams all over the place. The snake oil engine additives, the chinesium gadgets that don't do anything but claim to do a lot of stuff. Marketing driven crap for weekend warriors to feel good about themselves: K&N Air filters. The entire detailing industry: for people with no mechanical skills but who love their cars and want to feel like they're doing something for them. (Hint: use any strong soap, water, and dry using sheepskin, then if you're intrepid rub some wax into the car). None of this costs money, but if you have more money than sense, people will happily accomodate you.

    Once you spend a little more time, you start noticing higher level scams. These scams will fool dealership mechanics and the general public alike, and are particularly insidious because those mechanics lend them a LOT of credibility, and there might even be a tiny hint of truth to what they're pushing.

    Examples include this ATF additive that comes in a can. You could collect the tops and they'd give free rewards or something (huge red flag). Even Mercedes dealerships used this, but it was a gigantic bunch of baloney

    Tires also fall into this category, especially motorcycle tires. Motorcycle tires that cost $300+ and have a little figure of a devil on them. "New" tires that convince you that people haven't been riding motorcycles fast until the advent of this tire, and if you use the old tire, you're going to slip and die. Read carefully their claims, the way they talk about grip will immediately become familiar to anyone that's ever bought illicit drugs before. "This is the best shit man, it has so much grip. Dude this new batch I got has so much grip you won't believe. This shit grips HARD dude, you gotta try my new stock". Yeah. I'm sure there are new developments, but it's a minor distinction that happens over decades, not every year.

    The real irony is these super grippy tires last fuck all, and cost a fortune. Somehow people got convinced spending $300 for a tire that lasts 2k miles is a good idea.

    Anyway, then there are the really high level scams that fool not just the general public, industry workers, but even the automotive manufacturers. Fucking AGM batteries.

    "Absorbant Glass Mat" and "Gel Cell Batteries".

    Supposedly they last longer (red flag here), the prices are ASTRONOMICAL, and THEY CANNOT BE SERVICED!
    A lead-acid battery is an EXTREMELY simple thing: 1. lead plates, bathed in 2. Acid.

    They work, they are reliable, they can be made in whatever shape/form you want. People somehow got convinced they need this specific lead acid battery, and if you get one that's shaped in such a way to go into a higher-end car (including the ZHP), spread your legs b/c you're about to get FUCKED. But if that fuckening wasn't enough, now they've come up with "Sealed" and "Valve regulated lead-acid". They promise all sorts of goodies, but you know what? If they get cold, or discharge once, they're DEAD. The battery manufacturers have turned what's generously $50 worth of material and a century old technology into a $250 piece of shit that lasts a fuckall amount of time, cannot be serviced, and is fragile and pissy.

    Understand these batteries emerged on the automotive scene maybe around 2012, and people have become convinced they must put them into all their high-end vehicles, because "new electronics blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH" FUCK YOU.

    Yes a dying battery can wreak havoc on technology, but SEALED BATTERIES ARE NOT THE ANSWER. From now on I'm only ever installing traditional lead acid batteries with ports that I can open up. I'm so furious right now for the HUNDREDS of dollars I've wasted, and HOURS spent researching trying to buy the right one. Worse still, apparently AGM requires special chargers to actually work right, which really calls into question the point of all of it.

    Fuck AMG batteries, FUCK SEALED BATTERIES, FUCK THE INDUSTRY FOR THIS GIGANTIC LOAD OF BULLSHIT.

    Sulfuric Acid is one of the cheapest and most produced industrial chemicals there is. It's regulated by a retarded government bureaucracy, and that's scared the general public from getting it, and made it inaccessible, but the reality is it's plentiful and available.


    Fuck this.
    Everybody loves Fried Chicken

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    4,903
    You sound pretty mad about it there Mr. Fried Chicken. Just know this, everybody loves Fried Chicken!

    Honestly I have zero knowledge on the subject but understand that in me E93, when the battery dies, I might have to "condition the battery to its new home" and take it to the dealer to make sure the marriage between the initial power cell and the vehicle goes smoothly.

    I am not convinced if this is true or if, like in all my previous cars, I can just buy one at Walmart.

    The AGM vs. non AGM version of the H6-H8 batteries is only about ~$20.
    325i, 2005, 5MT, Silvergrey, leatherette, Sport package; CDV delete, KONI STR-T & KYB Excel-G, Weisslichts, Stewart H2O pump

    328i, 2010, 6MT, Spacegrey, dakota leather, M-sport packages; has a 330 intake but no tune - yet
    http://s900.photobucket.com/user/othibau/media/Junesig.jpg.html][IMG]http://i900.photobucket.com/albums/ac208/othibau/Junesig.jpg

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Oli77 View Post
    You sound pretty mad about it there Mr. Fried Chicken. Just know this, everybody loves Fried Chicken!

    Honestly I have zero knowledge on the subject but understand that in me E93, when the battery dies, I might have to "condition the battery to its new home" and take it to the dealer to make sure the marriage between the initial power cell and the vehicle goes smoothly.

    I am not convinced if this is true or if, like in all my previous cars, I can just buy one at Walmart.

    The AGM vs. non AGM version of the H6-H8 batteries is only about ~$20.
    OMFG THAT'S RIGHT YOU HAVE TO CODE THE BATTERIES TO THE CAR NOW. THE STUPIDITY IS SO PALPABLE.

    Non-AGM batteries you can replace the acid, pump it full of electrons, and be golden. AGM batteries will fail if you look at them wrong in the cold, and then you can take it up the ass when you get a new one.
    Everybody loves Fried Chicken

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Branford, CT
    Posts
    16,055
    Quote Originally Posted by Fried_Chicken View Post
    AGM batteries will fail if you look at them wrong in the cold, and then you can take it up the ass when you get a new one.
    That must be why my touring starts right up, the first time, every time, after 3 years of exposure to really cold weather, right?

    Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean they're trash. Just the fact that I don't have to dick around with venting or "maintaining" it is enough to make it worth my while. Who the hell wants to "maintain" a battery with doing anything other than not letting it go dead? Nobody.


    BTW, Oli, the process you're referring to with the E93 is called battery registration. It's necessary to do this to ensure the car charges the battery optimally to prolong the life of the battery.



    Sent from my Pixel 7 using Tapatalk
    BP
    2005 330i ZHP / 6MT
    Imolarot / Naturbraun
    2003 330iT / 6MT
    Orientblau / Naturbraun




    It's not the car you drive, it's how you drive it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Raleigh, NC
    Posts
    879
    I switched to a Lithium battery after ZHPizza's recommendation earlier this year and I don't think I can ever go back to AGM or lead acid. I simply can't justify carrying around a 55lbs lump when a 5lbs battery half the size does the exact same thing.
    330i Base | Mysticblau | Slicktop | 6MT

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    SF Bay, CA
    Posts
    1,266
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapolis View Post
    I switched to a Lithium battery after ZHPizza's recommendation earlier this year and I don't think I can ever go back to AGM or lead acid. I simply can't justify carrying around a 55lbs lump when a 5lbs battery half the size does the exact same thing.
    How did you mount it? My OEM one is from 2014 and still going strong, but may as well go that route whenever this one kicks the can

    Sent from my SM-G781W using Tapatalk
    2004 BMW 330CI ZHP (well, technically ZAM)


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Leesburg, VA
    Posts
    1,209
    Quote Originally Posted by Oli77 View Post
    Honestly I have zero knowledge on the subject but understand that in me E93, when the battery dies, I might have to "condition the battery to its new home" and take it to the dealer to make sure the marriage between the initial power cell and the vehicle goes smoothly.

    I am not convinced if this is true or if, like in all my previous cars, I can just buy one at Walmart.
    It's called "registering" the battery, to tell your electrical system that the battery has been replaced, and it's real. You can purchase your battery anywhere but need to register it - not needed for the E46. Failure to do so can shorten the live of your overpriced battery!
    2006 330ci ZHP - Silbergrau Metallic / Stoff Laser/Anthrazit / Alu Black Cube trim / Adaptive Xenon headlights / HK hi-fi system / heated front seats

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Raleigh, NC
    Posts
    879
    Quote Originally Posted by t.er View Post
    How did you mount it? My OEM one is from 2014 and still going strong, but may as well go that route whenever this one kicks the can

    Sent from my SM-G781W using Tapatalk
    I used the included feet and taped them to the existing bracket. With the feet, the height is the same as a standard battery so you can just use the stock top bracket to secure it. It just clicks into the feet so it's very easy to remove and take with you for charging or whatever.

    Name:  DSC06143.JPG
Views: 392
Size:  366.7 KBName:  DSC06146.JPG
Views: 417
Size:  654.3 KB
    330i Base | Mysticblau | Slicktop | 6MT

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by az3579 View Post
    That must be why my touring starts right up, the first time, every time, after 3 years of exposure to really cold weather, right?

    Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean they're trash. Just the fact that I don't have to dick around with venting or "maintaining" it is enough to make it worth my while. Who the hell wants to "maintain" a battery with doing anything other than not letting it go dead? Nobody.


    BTW, Oli, the process you're referring to with the E93 is called battery registration. It's necessary to do this to ensure the car charges the battery optimally to prolong the life of the battery.



    Sent from my Pixel 7 using Tapatalk
    If only it were just one battery... It's been like 5 over the past 5 years, $1k worth of batteries with these fucking shits costing a fortune, and that includes several warranty replacements. Little known fact: there are basically 3 battery manufacturers in the world, and all their AGM offerings are shit.

    I had one that went bad and fried my ZHP's ECU, requiring me to find a used one and mercifully find someone who could flash it. Run them empty once and they're pretty much done for. They also tend to fail in the summer but you don't notice until winter. Once they're done, I bet they're shipped to india for reconditioning or something.

    I have no memory ever of a battery venting hydrogen gas or requiring maintenance, but at least having the option would be nice.

    Lithium batteries scare me.
    Everybody loves Fried Chicken

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Galapolis View Post
    I used the included feet and taped them to the existing bracket. With the feet, the height is the same as a standard battery so you can just use the stock top bracket to secure it. It just clicks into the feet so it's very easy to remove and take with you for charging or whatever.

    Name:  DSC06143.JPG
Views: 392
Size:  366.7 KBName:  DSC06146.JPG
Views: 417
Size:  654.3 KB
    Do they come with posts so that you can screw those posts in and then connect them to your car?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Scam on CarforSale... 2004 330ci ZHP
    By Barefoot-ZHP in forum BMW 330 ZHPs For Sale (vehicles only)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-03-2014, 08:10 AM
  2. Could be a scam
    By ZHPESQ in forum BMW 330 ZHPs For Sale (vehicles only)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-28-2014, 10:39 AM
  3. FS (SOLD): Canon Digital Rebel T2i Body + grip/batteries
    By UdubBadger in forum Photography/Video Equipment and Accessories For Sale
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 09-01-2012, 10:55 AM
  4. Google Review System (Scam) -- San Diego BMW Dealerships
    By Marcus-SanDiego in forum Dealership Reviews | Stories | Feedback
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 04-10-2011, 04:24 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •