didn't you try out that steering wheel extender? how was that?
also, what about moving the seat closer, then tilting the entire seat back? (well, essentially tilting the front of the seat bottom up, then reclining a bit.) this is how i found my ideal driving position in the E46. also, thigh extender out about halfway. my right knee is about 10mm from the lower corner of the dash (by the bottom left corner of the HVAC controls), steering wheel extended out all the way. i can rest my palm on top of the steering wheel (meaning i'm the correct distance from the wheel), and the seating position in relation to legs and arm reach feels natural and balanced (i.e., i don't feel like i'm "reaching out" for the steering wheel, or conversely, pushing away from it). also, lumbar out a bit, this helps with the arm reach too.
of course, i've just realized this is all moot because i have M3 seats, which appear to sit a bit lower than the stock sport seats. i guess you need to drive my car and see what you think. :)