The tales of a stablemate...

[johnrando]

Cracking me up... another one? Awesome! Great work on the previous.

[Beau B]

E30's are addicting, plus when you can get them so cheap.. I was up to 4 at one point.. but sold most of them when I lost my work shop space.. 1 turbo, an M50 nv swap, and an S50 swap.. for me the M50 nv was the the best $500 mod you could do.. Enjoy and I look forward to reading more about your E30's

Beau

[Johal E32]

any updates?

[toddness]

I have a laundry list of updates, though I have no time....lol - wonder why.

Nutshell version ; I bought 4 more e30's since late June, including the convertible pictured above. I dismantled three of them and I've been picking the better parts, and selling/bartering my way through the remaining bits. Pick and Pull Hauled away three hulks and I traded the fourth away in exchange for significant labor on three drivetrain pulls. I'll end up with a pretty fresh e30 convertible for some NorCal topless fun. The 318is gets a new dash and myriad other bits out of the deal too.

[danewilson77]

Damn. That's a lot of work.

[toddness]

Update:
So this update is going to meander through a few topics that all relate to completing my projects and maintenance, and the life events that effect and can control what I want to accomplish. For some reason I need to get this out, for me. Feel free to ignore my ramblings.

Project Update - Oct. 22 2012:
We have four BMW's. Probably way too many for one guy who is a self taught hack mechanic at best. The 2002 is really a garage queen that gets wiped down, fluids replaced and minimal maintenance required. It gets about 2500 miles a year of use. It does need some significant mechanical work, but I am putting this off until it actually breaks down. The ZHP has 60K miles on it and is my weekend cruiser. It needs fluids only at this point, though all the maintenance bits on this site it is likely in need of as well shortly. I love this car. The 318is got most of the attention of the BMW's I kept last summer, unfortunately it was mostly around body work due to the accident mentioned in this or another thread. It is intended to teach my daughter to drive a stick, treat a BMW well, and perhaps get to some auto-X. The convertible I kept is in the garage and will be my winter/summer project - it needs an engine and TLC. The other 3 e30's I dismantled over the summer are now gone other than the parts I want to keep. You may have seen my garden art post. I got the bug to start wrenching again many years after cancer surgery. I may become just a little over-zealous.

A combination of winter coming and the fact I was breaking the rules of my lease about car maintenance had me knowing I better shut this thing down, at least visibly to the public. I pick the weekend of Oct. 27 to get the last motor and bits out and last hulk removed from my driveway. I am now down to my four BMW's and they are out of site or parked properly. Funny thing is my landlord drove by as the last motor was coming out. He's a good guy and I explained to him what I did and he chuckled about it and let me be, knowing I would do him right. Sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than seek permission.

Life Update - October 29, 2012:
I get laid off from my job as a sales engineer. Reality is I wasn't selling anything and I was more of a cleanup boy on other projects that had incomplete tasks from other sales engineers projects. I do this well, and made happy clients, though it does not get reflected on the bottom line as revenue generating, so I need to go. While this is disappointing for a number of reasons including one of my best friends owns the company I am working for, I am okay with it. I knew this day was coming, it was fairly obvious on both sides of the desk it wasn't working out as either of us had envisioned. Always the opportunist, I knew this was now time to find a better gig. It took me all of three weeks to get hired doing what I love daily without the sales generating requirements. In it's simplest form I am a Windows systems admin, they call me an engineer, but I have no degree. I am back as a lead admin for a major player in the auto insurance industry. I am as happy as one can be working for someone else.

Recap through April 2013:
Loving my job. Car projects still on hold, but always on my mind. Holidays and birthdays are over. Taxes are due. No time for the mafia or other forums as I immerse myself in my new job. I originally got hired to augment another admin like myself who is just overwhelmed. Then about March 1 they tell me he is leaving for another position in the company. So now a job that was too much for one is now assigned only to the new guy, with the promise of trying to find another me. It took them a year to find me, this ought to go well. That's okay, if there is anything I am, I am always up for a challenge.

Then an email from recruiting gets sent to the company. The company is growing fast and they have some positions they really need to fill. As an incentive, they have doubled the referral bonus for the positions in the email. I briefly scan through them and realize one of the positions is describing my wife, perfectly. We talk about it, at first only joking about it, then it becomes reality. She got hired. She is excited to be moving on, but also some regret about leaving her current company and coworkers. Starts May 1.

May 1-3
My wife are commuting to work together for the first time in years. We met at work in 2000 and began dating in 2001, and commuted a lot together through 2008 when our company moved to Denver and we chose not to go. This is fun. San Francisco is such a great city to work in and we love sharing the food and activities. Working together allows us to get together during the day and immediately after work, rather than waiting until we are both burned out from a long day and commute. We don't work together in our roles, except on an occassional project so we don't really drive each other crazy. Life is great!

Week of May 6:
My wife's first full week on the job. I am sick. She's got to go in by herself. Not what we intended.

Seque - Why I am sick:
I am bent over an ottoman, writhing in pain. Feel like my stomach and intestines are tied up in knots. I've done this before. In fact I did this for almost 20 years. For anywhere from 1-3 days I'd be writhing in pain. It started when I was a Marine. I was a good, strong Marine; two meritorious promotions, always a perfect PFT, expert rifleman, significant responsibility for an enlisted man. I loved being a Marine and this pain put an end to that. The Navy docs couldn't figure it out and this meant to some of my superiors it was in my head. I got out of the Marines, not as I intended. Wish it were different, but it is too late for that now. Over the next 15 or so years this pain would hit me a couple times a month.I saw dr. after dr. and pretty much gave up hope. Had no trust in doctors or medicine at this point, but every year or so I'd make another attempt to resolve the issue. It sucked. I would let you take a sledge hammer to my arms if it meant I would never feel this pain again. Then in 2004, another attempt to find a cause and cure, and they find cancer instead. Cancer gets a first class ticket, meaning head of the line. I am on the fast track to have my esophogus removed, which I like to say aged me 45 years. Each year after, with rigorous workouts and 3x week playing ice hockey I would get five years younger. After about 2010 I was finally feeling my age (45) again, maybe just a little older. Anyway, even during my initial recovery, four days after the surgery, there I am bent over a chair in my recovery room - the pain is there again. The doc's think it's just related to the radical surgery, give me some drugs to knock me out and I wake up later the next day - never to see the pain again until.....May 6, above.

The pain actually started on Sunday about 4PM. I missed work on Monday and Tuesday, and of course my boss is out of town and thinks I am taking advantage of the situation. I am also on-call - which means I am responsible for operations after hours. Fortunately no calls came in. Tuesday evening finally rolls around and my wife gets home to find me still bent over the ottoman - 48 hours straight. I am fricking hurting. This sucks. She insists I go to ER, and I push back. I have done this for years I tell her, it will go away. She's having nothing to do with it and insists I go. I succumb, what's the worst that can happen, maybe they'll drug me up to knock me out and not feel the pain. Well, am I lucky she did what she did when she did. Turns out the pain I am experiencing is related to a tear in my diaphragm. My stomach and instestines and other organs have made there way through this hole into my left chest cavity, collapsing my left lung in the process. They tell me I need emergency surgery. Knowing my custom digestive tract from my esophajectomy is not an everyday occurrence, I push back adamently as I want don't want just anybody working on me. Man did that piss off the doctor, but they can't operate if I don't give them permission. After a day of efforts by the surgeons and my wife an acceptable plan was worked out. I would have surgery to move the organs out of the chest cavity to stabilize me, then transfer me to UCSF medical center to determine next steps. UCSF is where I wanted to be. They did my previous surgery and is a fantastic, world-class hospital. I am okay with this plan and we move forward. I have surgery on the 8th, transfer to UCSF on the 10th, go through a battery of tests to make sure no cancer has come back and other evaluations, and have a 2nd surgery scheduled for the 23rd. I got sent home for a week between surgeries on the 16th, I haven't eaten a meal other than liquids in what seems forever.

The surgery on May 23rd is pretty complex. 5 hours. Repair the diaphragm, fix organ layout, R&R my previous digestive surgery (tuneup) and an overall visual exploratory of my abdomen. I was cut from sternum to my belly button. Fun stuff. If anyone wants to see the staple job after, which looks like a zipper, it's kind of a cool pic, if you like that sort of thing...

Anyway, I am now on the way to recovering, finally eating softer foods, and hope to be back to work July 1.

So now that the body has been tuned up, it's now time to get back to these vehicles. With so many projects and one car on my stand, it is hard to prioritize. I can't lift anything, yet. I can hardly walk around the block. But my mind is going, and I have some time to plan my attack on what is again, probably too many projects for one lacky. I make occassional posts on here as I have time, generally somebody else posts something and I react by posting in response.



Today and the days around, I have the time. I have time to think and type. I really enjoy this site because of all you. If you've hung around this long, thanks for letting me share.

[bullfrogs_M3]

Holy crap man!! That's a hell of a life/story! Wish you the best of luck in everything


Handwritten on my Moleskin notepad

[Oli77]

What an amazing journey! Hope for many years of pain free life now that you are all tuned up and your diaphragm is repaired.

Good luck with everything and enjoy your car rebuilds as soon as you can.

[danewilson77]

Holy crap man!! That's a hell of a life/story! Wish you the best of luck in everything


Handwritten on my Moleskin notepad

+1.

I can't believe it took those assholes 20 years to figure it out.

HTC DNA ON TT4 BETA, WILLIAMSBURG, VA

[toddness]

+1.
I can't believe it took those assholes 20 years to figure it out.

There is a real irony in this comment. I want to agree with it so badly. Yet, after all I have been through I want to say this (and yes I am going to again ramble on):

Twice I have had significant surgeries at UCSF, the first lasting 10+ hours, this most recent again 5+ hours.I mentioned this is a world class organization, but what does that mean exactly.

For a long time, I hated doctors, every one of them. Understandably. Then I got the phone call about the cancer, and then all the activities that led up to my surgery. When you first get a cancer call today, you go hit the internet and try to determine what it is they just said. Of course I go and read that esophageal cancer in 2004 has a 98% mortality rate within two years. I am packing my bags for Maui - ready to live in the jungle and rot away in the rain forest.

Turns out I got lucky and have a great new respect for many doctors, nurses and those in the medical profession now. The doctor that found the cancer found it so early I had no chemo or radiation. It was hardly a pimple, yet still required radical surgery.

Then I meet the surgeon the first time. I am crying my eyes out as I think about this 2% survival chance and leaving my 9 year old daughter behind. Dr. Patti, the butcher as I endearingly call him, assures me of a long healthy life thereafter. My second meeting with the butcher, shortly in advance of my surgery has me now thinking about quality of life. What will I be able to do without an esophagus? So there I am again, no tears this time, just the butcher and his intern, and I ask, can I play hockey after this? Dr. Patti responds, well, let me ask a Canadian, and turns to the intern who is nodding his head yes. Not sure they understand me correctly I ask, will I be able to take a body check or other hit and not die on the ice. They both assure me I will be okay and it will be fine.

Turns out I played hockey on the 31st day after my surgery, then slept for three days as it was a little much, think I have a tendency to overdo things?, decided walking the golf course was probably a better recovery plan for now, but I was alive and able to do what I wanted.

I've just woken up in ICU after the surgery. My girlfriend at the time, who hung around and married me after all the hell I am putting her through, and my brother are there to witness my eyes opening. I flip my brother the bird and he recognizes I am okay. I am told the surgery went about 12 hours and everything looks great and I need to start sucking air from this device to get my lungs cleared out. From this point forward I am either under the care of a nurse, or being visited by my surgeon and 5-7 students every morning watching my progress. What was scheduled to be a 10-20 day stay in the hospital turns out to be 6 because I am in such great shape going in - lol, it's true.

This whole first experience gave me a great new respect for them all. My surgeon and staff was at my bedside every morning before 7. All of them fresh and ready to go, alert, on, engaged. The nurses were the same throughout their 12 hour shifts. I was really impressed and grateful to be under the care of such wonderful dedicated people.

This leaves me thinking, how many times have I shown up to work hungover or tired, or maybe just felt a little off and didnt want to give my all that day? This would not be tolerated here. You just cannot do both. Tough lesson I had to re-learn at 40, though again, I am grateful. The 5 year recovery of the cancer surgery limited my ability to do a lot of things, and I likely lost track of how much this meant to me as the memory faded of the events.

My second experience last month has only reinforced this feeling, if not moreso. In the 8.5 years that passed since my first encounter, they are even better, more dedicated, more involved. They are now an inspiration for me to achieve whatever I can while giving as much as I can to my work and what I do. It's too late for me to join them, but that doesn't mean I cannot take away all those great habits they have and contribute in other ways.

So - assholes? Well, some could be put in this bucket for sure, but I blame nobody. I am not one to have faith in a higher being, though I have faith in these dedicated people. They are the one's I had to believe in. Another thought is : While I would not have turned away from the opportunity to been in Kuwait, Mogadishu or Iraq over the 12 years following my getting out of the Marines, I often wonder if it did not save me.

I live my life without regret, I have some remorse for a few actions, sure, but I am living for today and planning for tomorrow.

Finally, I have to end this ramble with the utmost gratitude and appreciation for my wonderful wife. She's the most amazing women I have ever met and has done so much more for me than I will ever be able to repay. I often tell people that while I went through the surgeries and recoveries, it is much easier to be the patient than the supporter. She went through hell, I just was there for the ride.